To be a Father
by Althelas
Summary: The title says it all. It is a sequel to "Glorfindel's Fall"


**Disclaimer: **All recognicable characters are not mine. They all belong to the Tolkien Estates and NLC. All the others are mine. ;-)

**A/N: **Thanks to San for editing this little story and for her suggestions, they were very helpful,

and for being my muse concerning pregnancies. (((huggles)))

There are some notes at the end of the story. I tried to explain some things that might be a little confusing.

**To Kellen: **I hope you enjoy it, mellon nin.

Enjoy the story and feel free to leave a message.

****

**To be a Father**

How would it feel to be a father?  
  
He had known the feeling once, a long time ago.  
  
Could he do it again?  
  
Could he again raise a child like he had done before only to see its death in war?  
  
That had been in another age and in another place ... in another life.  
  
He still remembered the joy to hold the little bundle for the first time,  
  
To watch its first step,  
  
To listen to the first words,  
  
To read for it in the evening,  
  
To teach it the art of writing and reading.  
  
To see the improvement it would made over the time,  
  
But he also remembered nights without sleep,  
  
Smelling diapers,  
  
Food spilled over the clothes and the table,  
  
Bloodied knees and elbows, which had to be treated and bound.  
  
Annoying, never-ending questions.  
  
He still remembered the birth of the twins and the joy they had brought to the house.  
  
He remembered how they mourned, when their mother had left for the Havens.  
  
He did not know what to do to ensure that this would never happen to his child.  
  
He remembered all of that too well, but that was not the reason why he hesitated to do all the same things once more.  
  
They both knew that it would only be a matter of time before a new war would knock on their doors. How then, could he reassure himself and his child that they would not go through the same circumstances?  
  
Their people are already leaving these shores and there were less and less children born these days. The little one would be one of the last born here, maybe the last ever. There would be no elfling there to play with, no friend of her age. (2) They had discussed this matter countless time.  
  
Was it selfish to bring a new life into a dying world?  
  
He still did not know.  
  
Could he be a good father again?

* * *

He remembered the day Yáviëwen had told him about her pregnancy. He had barely drifted out of the haven of elven dreams, when he felt a soft touch on his face. Turning around to face her, he caressed her features with his fingers. Sometimes he could still not believe that she was his. He felt so complete with her by his side; he could not believe how he could have lived without her such a long time. She smiled at him and took hold of his hand to place it on her belly.  
  
"Say good morning to our little one." That was all she had said, but this few words were enough to send him into heaven.  
  
He did not know how much he wanted a child until that moment. When he brushed his fingers over her still flat belly, he could swear that he felt movement under his fingers. She had laughed and told him that it was much too early to feel something moving.  
  
It had been her choice of time and place to conceive and last night when they had been at their favourite place, where they had spent their first night together, she knew that this was the time. (1)  
  
Yáviëwen still remembered their first night here in this silent and enchanted place. She remembered how it looked like with all the torches and candles, illuminating the banks of the little pond and the waterfall. She remembered every move he made when he sat beside her on the blankets and poured her some wine in a goblet.  
  
She remembered watching him, when he had told her about his late family and his search for them.  
  
He had told her about some of the aspects of his life in Gondolin, but she felt that there was more, much more, to tell, but she did not ask, she knew, one day he would tell.  
  
She remembered the early morning hour when he stumbled through his declaration of love, ears and face flushed, not daring to look her in the eyes until he had finished. Only then she took his face in his hands, like she had done hours earlier in the forest and told him how long she had waited for this moment.  
  
And now she lay by his side at the same place, feeling a tingling sensation in her womb, where the new life developed more with every passing second. She noticed the smile that spread over his features when she watched him brushing over her soft skin to feel for the little one and she knew that it had been the right decision to make.

* * *

When they returned to the house, he still had that silly smile on his face. No, he beamed with joy and pride.  
  
Yáviëwen teased him with whispering in his ears that she did not know that elven ears could have such interesting shades of red. They had met Elrond in the hallway, and the lord had known what had happened the second he took a look in their faces. His congratulations and well-wishes came from the bottom of his heart and he looked forward to the time when again a little toddler would bring mischief and joy to the house.  
  
They had brought the news to the family during breakfast, and were overwhelmed from the love and joy they all showed for them.  
  
Little Estel was the most exited one, for he would have some kind of little sister and he looked forward to no longer being the smallest one in Imladris. He wanted the baby this instant and they had to explain that it would take some time before the young one would be able to play with the child.  
  
The following months were like a blur. Yáviëwen felt wonderful, with some exceptions. Glorfindel had been always protective, but now he worked himself into frenzy.  
  
He treated her like a raw egg, cushioned her seats, tried to lead her when they walked. His constant questions about her well-being drove her crazy. He loved to sit by her side and only watch her; he said that her glow grew brighter every day until to him she glowed like the brightest star.  
  
Most of the time she enjoyed it, because it was fun to watch him fussing around to make her comfortable. He did not stop it, even when she had told him that she was not sick, but pregnant and that he should know from earlier experiences.  
  
But one day it was enough, it was in the late state of her pregnancy when her belly was swollen beyond believe and her steps lacked their usual grace and she tripped over a bend up carpet because she did not see it around the belly. No damage had been done, but he seriously pondered about ordering a palanquin of some kind to carry her around.  
  
That was when she exploded, and she told him in very descriptive words where he could put his palanquin and what she would do to him should he dare to order one.  
  
They had their first argument over this matter, the second followed shortly after when it came to the decision where to give birth to the little one.  
  
She wanted to give birth not in the house but in the forest, she wanted her child not to see walls around her when it first opened it eyes, she wanted her baby to see and smell the forest. She wanted to give the child to be in touch with nature from the beginning.  
  
He had tried to talk to her about the safety of the house and the closeness of healing supplies, should it be necessary. Her stubbornness got the best of her, but she was close to lose that battle. Only Elrond saved her from being confined in the Halls of Healings by telling Glorfindel that it would be safe in the woods and especially in the place she had chosen.

* * *

All the arguments and doubt were forgotten now that Glorfindel sat behind his wife in the place of their choice and supported her back during the last contraction that would bring his daughter into the world.  
  
He brushed over her damp hair with his free hand. He could not feel the other, Yáviëwen had it in a grip that would make an orc blanch and he had to work hard not to flinch, when she pressed his fingers until he thought they would break.  
  
Glorfindel felt Yáviëwen relax, when the pain came to an end at last, and soothed her, whispering comforting words into her ear while he listened to her laboured breathing.  
  
When he heard a loud wailing, his head jerked up and met the laughing face of Elrond who held the naked elfling in his hands. He cleaned the little girl up, wrapped her in a soft blanket and laid it into the waiting hands of her mother who pressed it tightly against her chest. Glorfindel watched in awe when the child calmed down the moment she felt the warm embrace of her mother.  
  
He felt someone moving beside him and noticed that Elrond had left his place and was arranging some cushions so that Yáviëwen could lean back and relax. Glorfindel left his place and moved over to sit beside his family and lowered them slowly until Yáviëwen back rested safely against the pile of cushions.  
  
She looked up to him with a light in her eyes that had never been there before. It was not so much different than her usual bright glow but it was different, and he loved every sparkle of it.  
  
With a small smile she offered the little bundle to him and he took it carefully, afraid that he would break the tiny being with his strong hands.  
  
He looked down and his gaze met sparkling blue eyes, surrounded by golden curls that had a tiny shimmer of red in them. He drowned in that eyes, and he knew he was lost to this little being until the end. Never in his life had he seen a more beautiful being.  
  
Glorfindel knew not what to say or do, so he only watched his child closely, but then a thought hit him.  
  
He un-wrapped the little one and started to count the toes and fingers. He heard the soft laughter of his wife and looked up, confused what it was that made her laugh. She told him that it looked very funny, watching him counting the digits of a baby. That was something she would not let him live out.  
  
He did not care. All that counted for him was the feeling of the warm little body in his hands. This child was now his world and in this moment he made an oath that he would show her all the wonders of Arda, the forests of Lasgalen, the mountains, the plains of Rohan, the forests of Lorien, the White City and all the other places which held the wonder of Illuvatar's creations.  
  
"Welcome to the world, Tindómë, my starlight!"

The End

**Notes:**

(1)I thought long about this part of the story, and came to the conclusion, that a she-elf can choose the time, when she wants to conceive a child. In my opinion the elves enjoy and celebrate every part of nature and life, that includes sexuality, so they should have some kind of "birth control". And I think that it is the she-elf who decides the time of pregnancy.

(2)The closeness elves have with nature, could bring with it, that she-elves would be able to detect the gender of an elfling before it is born.  
It would be a shame, that they have heightened senses but do not know  
what happens within their bodies.  
  
Those are just my 2 cents concerning elven pregnancies. ;-)  
  
Fell free to leave comments and opinions in a review.


End file.
